Just Two Weeks...two weeks...

So I am really not a blogger. I mean, back in the day, I sort of blogged, but we called them "boards." A board got me through my first deep south deep summer deep depression pregnancy long long ago. We were an intimate and nurturing crew, some of whom are here on this very site.

I do write, but when people say, "oh you should blog" I am mystified because a) my life is not as glamorous as it may look (we'll get into that later, lol), b) my time is mostly spent scraping a variety of substances, organic and other off the the floors, and c) if I write it down, then I'll see it in writing and that changes things.

I'm full up on change these days. Actually, been full up on change for a good long time now. Moved from my homeland, family, job, friends to another time zone. That's an old change, but it still chafes sometimes.

Thought about maybe sorta kinda having a second child because, well I was probably too old and we weren't really trying and dh was a long distance cyclist and at least we gave it a shot (heehee) and in the two weeks that I was un-contracepted--TWO WEEKS in my late thirties after a rough 80s decade (ahem) with no thought to ovulation or regulated sex, mind you, in those two weeks I made two changes.
The first change was about the second kid. No thanks, decision made.
The second change was that I had already conceived.
Bonus change: Twins.
Double Bonus plus value points: One twin is a spectrum kid. (surprise bonus is that I aaaaaaaaaaaadore him for all his beautiful differences)

Pretty much that's just to explain the title of this post. I really have no idea wtf I'm doing so please be patient.

Today's a lousy day to begin blogging anyway, I think. Recent changes have left my days in-freaking-terminable and yet I get nothing done. Maybe I should mention that I am prone to lousy days. Psychologically, the term is dysthymia (sp?) which means long term low-medium grade depression of organic/genetic origin. For our purposes, it means chronic tendency to sigh.

*sigh*

Yeah, today's not good. I am heartily sorry for this first impression. Here in the deep south, we understand the importance of such things, and I just go on tossing lousy first impressions around like it's Fat Tuesday and I'm riding a float.

*sigh*

But I think I need to write, even or especially on these days. Nobody has to read it, really, that's okay, I live with four males who don't pay me any mind, so don't feel bad about that. It's just that, well, I think I need this. Been told I need this (no copays). So away we go...(could we? lol)

For the record, yes, I admit I have more children than I'm wired for, and I will never, ever, let you forget it, but I do adore them and learn from them and love them fiercely. Also for the record, I feel that same way about dh. Except for the having too many part. Just the one. Ten years and counting. My beautiful dh. Adore him. Could slap him (never have) but am passionately in love with him.

Still, the most recent changes here in Lahlahland suck. More later.

*sigh*

Um...thanks. I'll be back.

lah